Call of Cthulhu - Agent Solange

I do not like this situation anymore then I did before though I am satisfied with what I accomplished today. My brain also hurts a bit. I… met two gods today, both of extremely different temperament. But lets start at the beginning.

The five of us were in the church and so we investigated what was in the area. In the room off to the right of the entrance I found it to be a kitchen with another dead nun in it due to a knife like the one I acquired in the maze. Naturally I took it and then investigated the room some more with Tim, the surviving cultist. We found a lot of food and then moved off to investigate the other room at the entrance while the rest of the group went upstairs. We found winter coats and thus went off to explore the smaller building next to this one in comfort.

There we found two snowmobiles and a group of dogs designed for sleds. I was able to befriend them and we determined that the snowmobiles were workable. Tim and I discussed what to do next and decided that the best plan of action was to wait to see if the people in the other building started screaming if they found Melissa, our elusive target. After making a fabulous stir fry with ingredients from the fridge the predicted event happened though not as planned. She was up there it turned out but the reason there was screaming was due to the man in the suit losing his sight somehow.

I suspected it to be a trap and thus I forced the two of them or rather, the blind guy to go open the door behind the pair as the hiker we had met jumped away. My guess turned out to be right as the blind man went into the room and instantly closed the room only for the sound of someone dying to reach me. I went through the door then and as Melissa fled the building I shot her in the shoulder above the heart.

Unfortunately, she set fire to the building as she slid down her ladder so I could not pursue her that way and the next few minutes were spent by everyone running out of the building in a bit of a hurry as this fire spread far too fast to be normal. I do not understand it. As the cultist and I had a similar purpose we took a snowmobile in pursuit of Melissa and discovered she had snowmobile as well. Following her trail was easy and we were closing in when out of nowhere… something appeared.

It was a bluish thing that had three hands and was rather odd, just floating around us. It gave us a name but I do not remember it due to what happened next. The cultist and this thing had clearly already met at some point and had a bit of a conversation before the two of us found ourselves flying off into the distance at high speeds. Fortunately we did not die and somehow we quickly met up with the others who had been at the monastery along with what is most likely the only surviving nun of the place.

It was then that another being showed himself to us. This time it did not hurt to look at but several members of the group, the young girl and the nun did not take it so well and have apparently succumbed to his influence. They are now cultists. I am not sure how the nun will take that. It is fortunate the priest that is now accompanying us appears to have succumbed to sleep due to the cold. All of a sudden then the being was gone and we found ourselves stuck in some kind of ice that took off to lead us somewhere.

Of course, this did not work out and we met that blue thing from before but this time he was purple. Clearly he changes a lot. He sent us on a different heading and then we found ourselves on an island in the middle of a lake. I am beside myself with rage at the lack of an opportunity to revenge myself upon the women who kidnapped me. I will need to relax myself soon or this will end poorly. As well, I must ask the cultist fellow what that scroll we looked at contained. It hurt my eyes just to look at it and that is not normal.

There is a mansion or maybe a hotel here. I hope they have fishing equipment. That has always calmed me and it does mean some tasty food assuming they have fish in the lake.

Call of Cthulhu - Agent Solange

I find myself to be in a bit of an odd situation. I was driving through the countryside in response to a problem when all of a sudden I blacked out and awoke handcuffed in a cell with two other people apparently nowhere near where I had been when I was last awake judging by the city on the officer’s uniform who was with me. Little time was wasted by myself and the officer in freeing ourselves and the other person in the cell from captivity. We did find the door to be slightly barred but we forced our way out of the cell room and encountered several other people in serious disarray. One person had lost an arm, another a hand, and two of them appeared to be cultists of some god they had met.

This is not in the agency training but I am dealing with it. They told the three of us in the cell that we were in a bunker in a cornfield and that someone named Melissa had kidnapped us all. They did not say why. We proceeded together and went downwards for the others said to turn back was quite impossible. As we went down a floor we turned to find out we were being followed by a… thing. I don’t know how to describe it. An ogre perhaps?

The one armed man took off fast so undoubtedly this thing was the cause of his missing arm and the rest of us quickly followed suit as there was no other way out of this situation. Dashing around turns the group got quickly separated and the ogre followed the police officer eventually. I came across a room that I could not cross and turned back only to meet the other woman that had been in the cell with me. We went back to the room that was not crossable only to see that the officer was now dead. We took off and easily avoided the ogre thing this time.

The two of us met up with the other three, now two, as alas, in their attempt to jump a pit the one missing an arm had done poorly and died in the fall. The two cultists and I left the body behind while the other woman stayed there for some reason. We attempted to go back to the stairs but some rat creatures came down them and so we had to flee. They were easily avoided and so we made our way back into the maze hoping to avoid the ogre.

After some exploration we found ourselves at a door and then another door behind which we found a lounge of some kind. There were ribs in the fridge and as we were all a bit hungry we ate some. I destroyed a bit of the carpet as revenge for this kidnapping and then the other woman arrived. The four of us proceeded upstairs where I found a gun inside a chest along with a note asking someone named Matilda to clean the place. We proceeded into the next room and found someone who was presumably Matilda and after she shot at us we killed her though she did something to the man who had all his limbs as he stabbed his fellow cultists. After I killed Matilda I patched up the handless man and we had some more food so as to all feel better.

We then found ourselves at a crossroads for there were two… portals? of purple material in the room that Matilda had been in. There was a bit of discussion and then we all proceeded through one of the portals. When we appeared on the other side of the portal we found ourselves on a mountain top in front of a hiker. Another portal opened and then someone in a suit appeared saying something about an oddly dressed fellow which the cultists appeared to be quite jubilant about. The man in a suit, the head cultist, and myself all roped down the cliffside to get to a house off in the distance as it was quite cold while the others decided to walk down for some reason. The man missing a hand did not make it.

The man with a suit left us as soon as we were inside and it became clear that this church that we had apparently found ourselves in was not so good as there is a very dead body in the entryway. I do not like what I have gotten myself into.

In which Steve was killed by a god

Master Sergeant Steve Holt passed away on October 23rd, 2014  at the age of 42 years. He was a resident of New York City, New York for the past several years, being one of the many soldiers stationed at the Army Base Fort Hamilton. He died while on an impromptu vacation to the Grand Canyon and its surrounding areas in an accident. He was visiting a police station while assisting in solving a crime and had the building fall on him.

Steve Holt was born on March 23rd, 1972 in Savannah, Georgia to George and Eve Holt. He dropped out of high school to join the army at the age of 16 and served with distinction in Afghanistan. He is survived by two brothers and their children. A funeral service will be conducted at Arlington Cemetery on Friday November 7th, 2014 at 11am.


Long live Steve.

Call of Cthulhu - MSG Steve

The three of us stayed under the boxes for a short while before we were all surprised to hear the voice of Doctor Ivy coming from around the corner. After a brief discussion we extricated ourselves and went to see if it really was the Doctor. It was him but he looked a bit worse for there were bruises and cuts all over his face and neck. He apparently did not know about them until we pointed them out to him and so we discussed this a bit. As an hour had passed we went to meet the others in the group. We were unable to see Chuck or Nathaniel right away so Frank went up to get Zane only to meet him on the stairs where he also looked a bit worse as there was a cut on his arm.

He claimed something about being thrown off a roof by a gargoyle, a most concerning event. The four of us then proceeded to investigate the rooms on this floor to see where Chuck and Nathaniel had gone off to. I investigated what turned out to be a dining room first and discovered that there were two of the eight candles that on the table that absolutely refused to light despite my best efforts. My sense of decorum is highly offended. I followed Frank into another room and then went to open the door to the last room.

I was quite surprised when I opened the door to find Chuck in a slightly decomposed state and looking very green. Almost like a zombie one might say. I decapitated him in response to his threatening stance and closed the door quite quickly after that. I am not impressed with this place at the moment. There followed a rather heated discussion about the subject of someone dying in this experiment and calling the police and what was happening. Most of us agreed to continue just out of curiosity, not because Frank was asking us to.

Zane then informed us of someone vaulting over the back fence and running into the mausoleum in the backyard. I decided I would head out there then when we were interrupted by the awakening of Nathaniel who had been in a coma of some sort. The presence of Frank seemed to perturb him and it became clear as to why when he said that Frank had killed Chuck. That is a rather concerning accusation given his disappearance earlier in the evening. I am not certain about it.

The police were called and then we set out to investigate the manor some more. Zane, Frank, and I went outside to go investigate the fence jumper when we discovered someone else entering the manor grounds, a detective of some kind. He handed us some information about a pair of likely murders that had happened in the manor a while back and then the four of us went off to investigate the other fence jumper. In the mausoleum we found two obituaries, a chessboard, and as I went to the other door in the mausoleum I found myself looking at the fence jumper through a slot in the door. We are near the end of this I think.

Call of Cthulhu - MSG Steve

We started to proceed into the basement when out of nowhere it seemed as if the house itself did not want us present and dropped a chandelier on top of four of us. Fortunately, all of managed to dodge the falling object except for Zane who took a scratch to the arm. Frank stopped Odd and I at the stop of the stairs and told us that there would be another participant in the study waiting for us downstairs, a homeless man of the name of Tim. We then proceeded downstairs with Frank in the lead and met Tim. After a series of brief introductions the three of us started to explore.

What first caught our eye was the series of box and crates next to the east wall. I perused the boxes and discovered them to be full of various clothing articles. As I had matches I took a man’s shirt and a pair of socks from the boxes. Odd opened up the crates and found nothing in them. At the end of the line was a trunk made of metal but it was locked. Attempts to open it have not succeeded. The rooms were next and there were three of them.

The first one I examined had laundry machines in it on the far wall along with a shower. Odd explored further as there was little light in there and he had a flashlight. He found a bench with a pair of overalls and muddy boots. He also noted rats to be present in the shower drain. The second room was full of cardboard boxes and it is where disaster struck us. Odd retrieved a picture from the room, ostensibly of me and my deceased parents. While he was doing so Frank had moved into the room as well. When Odd walked out of the room to show the picture to me the door slammed behind him. My attempt to kick it down after we found it to locked was met with little resistance however it seemed to not be the same door anymore.

My foot went right through it and then got stuck or absorbed or something. As the three of us tried to wrench myself free, I felt someone take my boot and sock off and start to tickle me! We also heard the giggling of a little girl through the door. We quickly got my foot back and then tried the door again. This time it opened and we found that Frank was missing. We quickly decided to check the third room of the floor but found nothing of use as it turned out to be a broom closet with some metallic structure in it.

As Doctor Ivy had disappeared when the door had closed on him in the room full of cardboard boxes I determined that if we all went in there and closed door perhaps something would happen to assist us in finding him. The three of us did so but nothing happened so we decided to investigate the room more. On our trip to the other side of the room a bunch of boxes fell on us, a rather fortunate event for later, as when we reached the other side of the room we turned to discover that the door we had closed was now open. I told everyone to hide and we all went underneath the boxes that had fallen down. I heard the laughter of the little girl once again coming from the hallway then and now I am most uncertain as to what to do. I can only hope all the others are alright.

Call of Cthulhu - MSG Steve

We made our way back to the cabins and on the way spotted two wolves on the cliffside, apparently waiting for us to ascend. After a bit of a debate we did just that and quickly went to the lodge that the couple had been inhabiting. After a cursory glance over of the place we had a dresser placed in front of the only door and waited to see what would happen. Before long we heard the scratching of the wolves trying to get in and so the ranger went to the back of the cabin after a scuffle with Chuck, who got shot due to that. The ranger did his job adequately for the first time and shot two of the three wolves that had been hounding us.

I took care of the third wolf with the knife I had picked up earlier but alas, there were further casualties. The lady of the couple was mauled and another civilian who appeared to come from nowhere died at the hands of the wolf that I killed. The police arrived then and took out another wolf with their car along with a portion of the cabin we were in. An ambulance soon followed and those injured were evacuated. Zane, Odd, and I spent the night with the ranger before going to town the next day. After a week of rest for Chuck and Nathaniel we went to pick them up from the hospital. Nathaniel had recovered but as Chuck had been shot in the stomach he was still a bit out of it and likely will be for a while. (That idiot.)

We were picking the pair up when a researcher approached Nathaniel with a proposition about a psychology experiment and handed him a flyer. We proceeded to rent a car and then went to the grocery store to buy a map. After that, we went to the location to scout it out. When we arrived Odd hopped out and took a picture of the place, an event most unfortunate. It sparked a serious debate in the group as only Odd and Nathaniel could not see the manor in the picture that the rest of us could see. It was much the same in other pictures that Odd took later.

An investigation around town yielded few results beyond the apparent owners of the property where the manor was being convinced that their old farmhouse was still there. While Odd and I discovered this apparently the researcher from yesterday, a Frank Ivy, found the rest of the group at the motel and talked to only Nathaniel about something. Apparently he can be trusted because of whatever was said. I find it doubtful but I have no reason to object.

The five of us drove out to the manor once more and waited for Frank to show up. When he did we proceeded into the manor and he talked to us there. We have split into three groups now to see how the manor affects us all as part of his psychology experiment. I am with Frank and Odd in the basement, while Chuck and Nathaniel are on the first floor and Zane is on the top floor of this manor. I am most curious as to what happens now and whether or not we will survive the two hours we have to be here.

Call of Cthulhu - MSG Steve

These past few hours have been very very confusing to me. I was out on leave at a local coffee shop, enjoying some alone time by myself when out of nowhere I found that the walls of the building had been consumed by an inky black substance. Another patron of the store was also stuck in the black substance as he tried to leave the building and hysterics were present in the barista and another patron.

To my embarrassment, I was not able to determine any way out until two of the other patrons in the same predicament as me attempted to tunnel through the floor. I assisted them, creating a hole in the ground but it only lead to more of the black substance. The barista jumped into the hole at the insistence of another patron, a writer I think, and was never seen again as the black substance swallowed the five of us left in the building. I take pride in being the last to go.

The five of us then found ourselves stuck in a void of some kind with a worm approaching to undoubtedly eat us. Before it could do so however, something struck it down with lightning and we found ourselves transported once more.

This time the five of us woke up next to a river in a canyon, with one of the group in serious hysterics. The writer stayed with him while the rest of us went off to follow the river. Coming to a fork in the river, the three of us split up to explore each pathway. I took the professor of history that had found his way into this situation and as we returned to the fork in the river I heard a scream and wolfs howling. The professor and I quickly met up with the other fellow who had come with us but had nothing to report. As the woman was now likely dead and the person in hysterics useless to any cause, the professor and I resolved to press on whilst the other fellow decided to go back.

Needless to say, our decision proved to be superb. After a bit more walking we found our way to a camp in the local area and discovered we were in the Grand Canyon area. After a discussion with the local park ranger, I convinced him and two other campers to accompany myself and the professor back down into the canyon to see if our friends still lived. Sadly, we found the corpse of the women but were able to retrieve the one in hysterics and the fellow who had gone back to find them.

The wolves are howling in the distance again. It would not normally concern me but something about these howls is more offsetting than normal.

Dreamscape #1

This dream started out of nowhere with Robert Baratheon, Ned Stark, and Tony Stark, for whatever reason, being present on a Star Destroyer from Star Wars. They were just standing around and then Obi-Wan Kenobi appeared and then something happened that lead to the three of them hijacking a stealth bomber from the Star Destroyer. Obi-Wan was left behind and then the three of them went down to this desert planet. Robert and Ned piloted the bomber while Tony talked to people on the star destroyer about bets and red paint so that they wouldn’t destroy the bomber.

After landing on a desert planet about a hundred meters from a city the three of them came out of the stealth bomber disguised as superheroes for some reason. The only one I remember is Tony being dressed in something that was a really bright blue and had a cape. Tony remarked at this point that he loved America because of something he saw at the entrance of the city. The three of them moved around for a bit then Ned heard someone mention something about slaves and went off and bought about four hundred slaves. He proceeded to walk them out of the city, freed them, and told them all to go to Winterfell. One of the newly freed slaves then told them to go to a person.

Shortly after that, it was Bryce Blankenfeld, Jin Light, someone I couldn’t remember, and myself at some kind of party at which we had to do pushups in a very odd position while being hit with a cane across the chest when we came up. After we had all done ten pushups we were all given a sword by a guy who had about five hundred pounds of muscle and then everyone in the building talked about how the house always wins.

Pathfinder - Lanius

I was out hunting today when I came across a sight most odd. Several other people had struck down my prey before I could and were enjoying the catfish. A pack of semi intelligent locals appeared then, drawn to the scent of the kill and the elf was struck by one of their paralyzing spears. The dwarf in the group tossed this elf to the locals and the locals carried him off. The elf returned later, a bit annoyed, so all was well. I enjoyed a bit of the catfish that the group had killed as they told me their story.

It would appear that there are people inhabiting the elven city to the south once more, a lovely story if there ever was one and these people were on their way to conduct a ritual. I decided to join them and enjoyed a bit of an adventure with them on the way. There were two goblins with the group, one to conduct the ritual, the other to be the sacrifice for the ritual. Like most sacrifices that I have seen he was not happy about this but there was little he could do for he was missing quite a bit of his body.

There was a small side adventure when the two goblins got kidnapped but we easily retrieved them and then we went to the plane where the God of the Hunt resided. There were tracks of quite some size going one way so we went the other way and came across another party of explorers. It quickly came apparent that it would be in our best interests to work together and so we all set off to find this beast whose tracks we had seen earlier. The beast was quite intimidating and we lost all of the other party in the process but we ended up killing it. The dwarf scored a particularly great blow against it and the beast chased around the elf a lot.

We came back from the plane of the hunt only to find that the goblin shaman was dead and went in pursuit of the perpetrator. The four of us quickly came to a cave and after a compulsion place upon the entrance went into effect the other three ran away while I proved to be the only one able to resist it. Before fleeing however, the dwarf threw in an explosive and the hag living inside was not happy about this. She set snakes of some sort after the three fleeing but not I for I had hidden myself well after seeing what the dwarf was doing. They mostly got away, with only the dwarf being forced to take measures. He cut off his leg to escape the vines and then made quite a masterful peg leg to replace it. He states that he has plans to replace it with a axe.

I took a bit of time exploring the city then when we got back and have also been informed that a campaign will be happening into the hinterlands against the orcs. This is exciting news. I’ve always wished to do something about those orcs and now there is an imperial campaign that I can ride along with. It will be interesting to see how far we can get. Probably not very far with just these goblins but maybe there will be others along for the campaign. I have not been told much right now.

Book Review: The 100 Year Old Man who Climbed out the Window and Disappeared

This book follows two storylines and does it masterfully. The first story that the book follows is, as the title suggests, about a one hundred year old man who climbed out of his window and the resulting adventure. The second story of the book is the story of the his life and as the title says, once again, it has been a long one.

After escaping from the old person’s home that Allan was placed in because he blew up his house, he finds himself on a whirlwind adventure through the country of his birth, Sweden, due to his accidental theft of a briefcase holding fifty million in Swedish currency from a gang. Numerous adventures follow as the gang tries to catch up with Allan to get their money back. An odd array of characters are utilised for this story, as Allan’s current adventure gets wildly misconstrued by the police, wipes out a gang, helps others meet people they love, and heals bad family relationships.

The second story present in the book is split up into multiple parts and it starts with Allan’s childhood in Sweden. It is here that he picks up his skills with explosives as a young child while working for a local factory and it is this skill set that is the impetus for much of the story. It is this very skill set which is why he is asked to travel to his first destination in this story that is very similar to Forrest Gump. (Even the author agrees it is like Forrest Gump but instead he is an explosives expert and has no mental problems.) His story takes him all the way to Spain, the United States, China, the Himalayas, Iran, back to Sweden, the USSR, North Korea, Bali, France, the USSR again, and then back to Sweden which leads to the events of the first story.

Being a bit of a history freak I enjoyed the second story far more due to the amount of humor that was present in that story. Numerous important historical figures from the prior century are present in this tale and they are all used masterfully, in a very similar fashion to the ones in Forrest Gump, another great tale by the way.

If you have the time read this book.

Pathfinder - Ralen Bek

It was an interesting day to say the least. I received a notice from the people to the south for a bounty of two thousand gold in exchange for the proof of the death of one Lord Bearington, a bear who had cleverly disguised himself as a bear for many years. I agreed to go after it with the others and then I sent the dwarf to deal with a squatter problem. Somehow he did not kill them all and let them take up residence in the southern portion of the city.

With that dealt with the dwarf, the rogue, and I set off to deal with this Lord. There was a minor incident with some bounty hunters on the way there that caused us to become separated from the landshark. The bounty hunters were wiped out by Sprinkles. We tracked the bulette then and found him at a gnome residence. It had decided to eat their milking cow, an event which had put the family into a bit of a panic. We calmed down the bulette and the family of gnomes. The gnomes then decided to run away with their horse and carriage. The dwarf chased them on the bulette, lost control of the bulette again and it decided to eat the horse. The gnomes then fled on foot.

We rested for the night in the gnomes mostly ruined house. I awoke to find the house on fire and exited it to encounter a group of orcs from the south outside. We chatted and as they had the same goal as us we teamed up and headed west. The rest of the journey was easy with only a merchant being on the path heading the other way. We arrived at our destination and apparently decided to toss aside all attempts at strategy as we all just walked up to the castle.

The rogue vanished up the walls while the dwarf and I destroyed everything in our path, wiping out the gate guards and the courtyard guards. We entered the guardhouse to find the captain dead at the hands of some orc barbarian who we awoke and pointed towards our target. With the keys that we found in the guardhouse we gained access to the castle and found that the rogue had already been busy. Apparently he had slipped a hallucinogen into the drink of our target and he went on a killing spree then, a killing spree that his cousin joined in on.

I calmed down those that were still fighting and questioned Bearington’s cousin and the others as to what had happened. The rogue came down then and told us that Bearington was escaping on a griffon construct. I took to the sky and with two explosive arrows shot him down. We went back to the castle and after we went through the castle the rogue and the dwarf set it on fire.

They both jumped out of the castle as the fire had spread far faster than anticipated. The rogue was fine but the dwarf lost most of his beard and apparently the jewel that was making his beard alive as the castle soon staggered to life. The castle went on a killing rampage and we all ran away quickly.

Needless to say, Mitra was less than pleased with all of this and I have lost my powers. I think I’ll take this as a sign that I need to leave or perhaps to stop associating with these people openly. I think that I shall still provide guidance to these goblins and hire the others. Undoubtedly they will find another person to accompany them. I will have to consult with the other paladins as to what to do.

the regrettable case of the blackwater incident of 1910

This was written for the program a play in a day. I wrote it all during the hours of 1:00 am to 4:00 am. Enjoy.

Characters

Detective Praxiteles - Has trenchcoat on, along with pizza hat

Maceachthighearna or Ahern the Animal - has a horse mask, wields the rubber chicken

Dunstan Krall - Renaissance hat with mini top hat on top of that, sparkly jacket. has the sword

Ulfric

Kenny - goggles, red scarf, has a towel

Angelica

Luisa

Corianna

Detective Miron

The Regrettable Case of the Blackwater Incident of 1910

(The detective stands alone, an old newspaper in his hands, reading about something and looking pensive. He now looks up.)

P: I remember it quite well, the massacre of Blackwater. Many people died that day at the hands of Ahern the Animal. The crime scenes I had to examine that day were (significant pause) utterly brutal to see and now murders similar to the one that I face so long ago are happening again. This is terrifying. Maybe if I review the notes of that case I’ll determine something of use to current cases. Yes, that is what I shall do.

(The detective looks back at his paper.) Let’s see, it happened ten years ago. The detective pauses, pondering something. The people involved were two men named Ulfric and Dunstan, three women by the names of Angeline, Luisa, and Corianna. There was also an unidentifiable person there. How they all came to be in Blackwater is uncertain but there they were.

(As the detective says each person’s name, they move onto the stage. Kenny is the unidentifiable person and he moves onto stage behind the TARDIS towel. Kenny moves from behind TARDIS towel and throws it away. Everyone looks confused at Kenny.)

K: Oh hello there strangers. How are you all doing on this… (Kenny looks around, getting his bearings.) on this fine morning? ( a chorus of everyone saying quite well greets his question as Kenny looks around again.) Where exactly am I?

D: You are on the road to Blackwater in Ireland sir. Now either move or come with us, it matters not.

(Dunstan walks on with all the arrogance in the world as Kenny moves aside. Kenny steals the mini top hat as well. Dunstan does not respond to this. Angeline approaches Kenny.)

A: Oh do join us sir. It isn’t safe to be on these roads alone. They say Ahern the Animal is loose again in these parts.

K: Ahern the Animal? Who is that? (The group walks back and forth twice with Dunstan in the lead.)

L: A scary criminal. He’s been arrested three times but keeps escaping because of what he is.

D: (Derisive snort.) Nonsense, he is but a man and a rather lowly man at that. Why, if I should come across him I would set him straight with a boxing of the ears.

(Everyone on stages freezes as the Detective starts to talk again.)

P: Ah yes, the first killing. Clearly Ahern killed the Lord Dunstan first so that the rest of the group would be denied his courageous leadership.

(Everyone moves back into action. Ahern with horse mask on appears and everyone freezes again, this time in a panic. Ahern attacks Dunstan and Ulfric screams like little girl. Everyone runs off the other way as Ahern swings the chicken with malice, knocking out Dunstan who then gets dragged off.)

C: Look, a conveniently located house! Let’s take shelter there!

(The group looks in the direction that Corianne is pointing and then stops, frozen once more.)

P: The farmhouse that they took shelter at. The owners demolished it after what happened and moved away.

L: (After knocking on an imaginary door Luisa opens it. Rest of group looking around nervously) Looks like nobody is here right now. Quick, everyone look for weapons.

(Three large crayons, the snap bracelet, the ping pong paddles, and pinecones are found. The three crayons go to the ladies, the snap bracelet to Ulfric, and the paddles and pinecones to Kenny.)

L: Angelica, Blackwater knew we were due to arrive soon right?

A: Yes, we had sent word that we were due to arrive tonight. Doubtlessly they will send help soon when they realize that we haven’t arrived. Someone will certainly miss the illustrious presence that Lord Dunstan’s offers. (Much bitterness and acrimony in voice.)

U: Well, we’re doomed then. (Ulfric shakes his head.) I always knew I would die horribly in a place I hate.

K: Not to be a bother or anything but what exactly just happened? Was that a horse?

C: That was no horse! That was a were horse! One of the worse type of were to come across and we’re stuck with that thing between us and the closest sign of civilization. Ten miles of open road and nobody likely to come looking for us. Oh, we are so dead.

L:  Get down everyone, Ahern is coming by. (Everyone crouches down on one side of the stage as Ahern appears on the other side.)

K: I’m going out there to talk to him. This is ridiculous. A were horse. What will they think of next to throw at me? Were rats?

C: Are you insane? He’s killed twenty people and escaped from jail three times. He’ll just kill you out there!

K: He won’t be able to do a thing for I have a towel! Never doubt the towel! (Ulfric and the Ladies look at Kenny as if he is insane, which he probably is. Kenny stands, holding a towel aloft in the hand without the ping pong paddle, and approaches Ahern after moving through the door.) Hello sir. I couldn’t help but notice that you are attacking this group of explorers on this fine morning. I was wondering if you could tell me why that was.

AA: (Ahern takes off the horse mask, proving himself to be a man as well as a horse and smiles evilly.) Why? Now there is a question I hear a lot. Normally I hear it as the people die though. If I may be frank with you -

K: I thought your name was Ahern. Ahern the Animal?

AA: Oh, I do hate that name. It sounds so savage. As for your question, I’ll answer it if you answer one of mine.

K: Alright.

AA: I do it because I enjoy it. When you have felt the thrill of the hunt perhaps you will understand but you will never have the chance to experience that in this life. Now, why are you out here by yourself? I smell four other humans in that house. Why are they not out here with you?

K: Oh, that’s because I have a towel and they don’t. Wait, why do you hate the name Animal if you love the thrill of the hunt?

AA: (After looking around, Ahern leans in all conspiratorially like) I’ll answer that question if you tell me why exactly that towel matters?

K: The towel is the most useful tool one can have while traveling. That’s why!

AA: Ahhhh. Well, you see, I hate the addition of animal as in truth I am not a were horse. I am a were pony!

(Ahern puts on the horse mask and attacks Kenny with the chicken and bites him on shoulder/neck. Kenny falls down, clutching his towel with one hand and waving around the paddle in the other hand. He stops ten seconds later. Ahern laughs while the Ladies and Ulfric say to each other What an idiot. Kenny’s body rolls down the hill and offstage as a result.)

(Luisa mutters Good Riddance quite audibly. Ten second pause as each side sees if the other does anything. Nothing happens.)

AA: If you surrender now, I will give you a quick death that so few get when I get my hooves on them.

L: Oh please, like we would listen to you.

C: You just killed two people in front of us!

A: You know, we could use this as a chance to get one of us close to him and kill him with one of these crayons we found.

U: You’re a genius Angelica but who is going to go?

L: I’ll go.

(Holding the red crayon tightly behind her, Luisa moves towards Ahern. Ahern nods to himself and raises the chicken.)

AA: You are a smart one to do such a thing. Much smarter than your companions though I think that’s a low bar to beat.

(Ahern starts to move forward when Kenny bursts onto stage once more, the towel wrapped around his chest.)

K: BEHOLD THE POWER OF A TOWEL!!

(Kenny charges Ahern, ping pong paddle in hand, only to take a blow from the chicken that was meant for Luisa. Kenny falls once more, this time dead. Everyone freezes then.)

P: The unidentified person was the second dead. Given that he died outside the house we can only surmise that he gave his life so that the others could attempt to reach safety.

L: Okay, that’s enough of that.

(Luisa stabs Ahern with the crayon. Ahern staggers backwards and collapses to one knee. The others have moved out of the house and move towards Ahern and Luisa. Ahern grabs the red crayon and pulls it away from Luisa as Dunstan enters the stage again.)

D: Hail Ahern my master. What do you wish for me to do?

AA: Deal with these humans quickly.

(Angelica hands whatever crayon she is holding to Luisa. Luisa and Corianna stand at the front, crayons at the ready with Ulfric right behind them wondering what the hell to do with a snap bracelet. Angelica is utterly calm as she waits to see what is happening. Dunstan moves right while Ahern moves left. Dunstan swings with the sword only for Corianna to parry it and then Ulfric strikes with the slap bracelet, stinging Dunstan on the wrist. Combat happens until ladies and Ulfric die. Ahern dies as well, slain by Luisa. Dunstan surveys the bodies and then walks off.)

P: (The detective surveys the scene now, a grimace on his face.) What a mess this is. Six people dead but at least that menace Ahern is dead as well. You can clear the bodies boys! I’m done here.

(Everyone can move off stage except the detective. He stands there tapping his chin or stroking his chin or doing whatever signifies thinking for the person.) Hmmmm. Maybe it is possible to make others into were creatures! I should check the graves!

(The detective walks around and then Kenny comes out and lies down. His towel is still around him.) What horror is this! Only the unidentified man still lies here! Five were horses active in Blackwater! No wonder we are having problems! (The detective picks up the towel and then turns around to find that all the rest are now behind him. Look of horror.)

D: Good work detective, finding out that we are all still alive. I really must applaud you. (The group applauds silently. Golf clap I guess.)

P: You monster! Doing the same deeds that the person who killed you did!

(The detective charges Dunstan and his lackeys while behind him Kenny gets up. Kenny looks at the fight about to break out, goes nope, and walks out of the grave. Wielding the sword, the detective manages to kill Ulfric and Corianna before collapsing. Dunstan looks at the fallen with sorrow.)

D: Fill in the holes that the detective dug.

(Kenny staggers back on to stage clutching his chest. Everyone stares at him.)

K: They’re everywhere man. Game over. Game over man. (Kenny falls dead once more.)

(Dunstan, Luisa, and Angelica all fall dead, shot from somewhere. Whoever plays Ahern walks on stage in a trenchcoat as Detective Miron and helps Detective Praxiteles to his feet.)

DM: Good job Detective Praxiteles! With your help we’ve caught the murders! Are you feeling okay?

P: Yes, yes. Just a small bite. I’ll get a doctor to check it out later. I need some rest now. This whole affair has been harrowing.

DM: Of course, of course! I’ll handle things from here. Go get some rest. You do look quite tired.