Pathfinder - Ralen Bek

It was an interesting day to say the least. I received a notice from the people to the south for a bounty of two thousand gold in exchange for the proof of the death of one Lord Bearington, a bear who had cleverly disguised himself as a bear for many years. I agreed to go after it with the others and then I sent the dwarf to deal with a squatter problem. Somehow he did not kill them all and let them take up residence in the southern portion of the city.

With that dealt with the dwarf, the rogue, and I set off to deal with this Lord. There was a minor incident with some bounty hunters on the way there that caused us to become separated from the landshark. The bounty hunters were wiped out by Sprinkles. We tracked the bulette then and found him at a gnome residence. It had decided to eat their milking cow, an event which had put the family into a bit of a panic. We calmed down the bulette and the family of gnomes. The gnomes then decided to run away with their horse and carriage. The dwarf chased them on the bulette, lost control of the bulette again and it decided to eat the horse. The gnomes then fled on foot.

We rested for the night in the gnomes mostly ruined house. I awoke to find the house on fire and exited it to encounter a group of orcs from the south outside. We chatted and as they had the same goal as us we teamed up and headed west. The rest of the journey was easy with only a merchant being on the path heading the other way. We arrived at our destination and apparently decided to toss aside all attempts at strategy as we all just walked up to the castle.

The rogue vanished up the walls while the dwarf and I destroyed everything in our path, wiping out the gate guards and the courtyard guards. We entered the guardhouse to find the captain dead at the hands of some orc barbarian who we awoke and pointed towards our target. With the keys that we found in the guardhouse we gained access to the castle and found that the rogue had already been busy. Apparently he had slipped a hallucinogen into the drink of our target and he went on a killing spree then, a killing spree that his cousin joined in on.

I calmed down those that were still fighting and questioned Bearington’s cousin and the others as to what had happened. The rogue came down then and told us that Bearington was escaping on a griffon construct. I took to the sky and with two explosive arrows shot him down. We went back to the castle and after we went through the castle the rogue and the dwarf set it on fire.

They both jumped out of the castle as the fire had spread far faster than anticipated. The rogue was fine but the dwarf lost most of his beard and apparently the jewel that was making his beard alive as the castle soon staggered to life. The castle went on a killing rampage and we all ran away quickly.

Needless to say, Mitra was less than pleased with all of this and I have lost my powers. I think I’ll take this as a sign that I need to leave or perhaps to stop associating with these people openly. I think that I shall still provide guidance to these goblins and hire the others. Undoubtedly they will find another person to accompany them. I will have to consult with the other paladins as to what to do.

the regrettable case of the blackwater incident of 1910

This was written for the program a play in a day. I wrote it all during the hours of 1:00 am to 4:00 am. Enjoy.

Characters

Detective Praxiteles - Has trenchcoat on, along with pizza hat

Maceachthighearna or Ahern the Animal - has a horse mask, wields the rubber chicken

Dunstan Krall - Renaissance hat with mini top hat on top of that, sparkly jacket. has the sword

Ulfric

Kenny - goggles, red scarf, has a towel

Angelica

Luisa

Corianna

Detective Miron

The Regrettable Case of the Blackwater Incident of 1910

(The detective stands alone, an old newspaper in his hands, reading about something and looking pensive. He now looks up.)

P: I remember it quite well, the massacre of Blackwater. Many people died that day at the hands of Ahern the Animal. The crime scenes I had to examine that day were (significant pause) utterly brutal to see and now murders similar to the one that I face so long ago are happening again. This is terrifying. Maybe if I review the notes of that case I’ll determine something of use to current cases. Yes, that is what I shall do.

(The detective looks back at his paper.) Let’s see, it happened ten years ago. The detective pauses, pondering something. The people involved were two men named Ulfric and Dunstan, three women by the names of Angeline, Luisa, and Corianna. There was also an unidentifiable person there. How they all came to be in Blackwater is uncertain but there they were.

(As the detective says each person’s name, they move onto the stage. Kenny is the unidentifiable person and he moves onto stage behind the TARDIS towel. Kenny moves from behind TARDIS towel and throws it away. Everyone looks confused at Kenny.)

K: Oh hello there strangers. How are you all doing on this… (Kenny looks around, getting his bearings.) on this fine morning? ( a chorus of everyone saying quite well greets his question as Kenny looks around again.) Where exactly am I?

D: You are on the road to Blackwater in Ireland sir. Now either move or come with us, it matters not.

(Dunstan walks on with all the arrogance in the world as Kenny moves aside. Kenny steals the mini top hat as well. Dunstan does not respond to this. Angeline approaches Kenny.)

A: Oh do join us sir. It isn’t safe to be on these roads alone. They say Ahern the Animal is loose again in these parts.

K: Ahern the Animal? Who is that? (The group walks back and forth twice with Dunstan in the lead.)

L: A scary criminal. He’s been arrested three times but keeps escaping because of what he is.

D: (Derisive snort.) Nonsense, he is but a man and a rather lowly man at that. Why, if I should come across him I would set him straight with a boxing of the ears.

(Everyone on stages freezes as the Detective starts to talk again.)

P: Ah yes, the first killing. Clearly Ahern killed the Lord Dunstan first so that the rest of the group would be denied his courageous leadership.

(Everyone moves back into action. Ahern with horse mask on appears and everyone freezes again, this time in a panic. Ahern attacks Dunstan and Ulfric screams like little girl. Everyone runs off the other way as Ahern swings the chicken with malice, knocking out Dunstan who then gets dragged off.)

C: Look, a conveniently located house! Let’s take shelter there!

(The group looks in the direction that Corianne is pointing and then stops, frozen once more.)

P: The farmhouse that they took shelter at. The owners demolished it after what happened and moved away.

L: (After knocking on an imaginary door Luisa opens it. Rest of group looking around nervously) Looks like nobody is here right now. Quick, everyone look for weapons.

(Three large crayons, the snap bracelet, the ping pong paddles, and pinecones are found. The three crayons go to the ladies, the snap bracelet to Ulfric, and the paddles and pinecones to Kenny.)

L: Angelica, Blackwater knew we were due to arrive soon right?

A: Yes, we had sent word that we were due to arrive tonight. Doubtlessly they will send help soon when they realize that we haven’t arrived. Someone will certainly miss the illustrious presence that Lord Dunstan’s offers. (Much bitterness and acrimony in voice.)

U: Well, we’re doomed then. (Ulfric shakes his head.) I always knew I would die horribly in a place I hate.

K: Not to be a bother or anything but what exactly just happened? Was that a horse?

C: That was no horse! That was a were horse! One of the worse type of were to come across and we’re stuck with that thing between us and the closest sign of civilization. Ten miles of open road and nobody likely to come looking for us. Oh, we are so dead.

L:  Get down everyone, Ahern is coming by. (Everyone crouches down on one side of the stage as Ahern appears on the other side.)

K: I’m going out there to talk to him. This is ridiculous. A were horse. What will they think of next to throw at me? Were rats?

C: Are you insane? He’s killed twenty people and escaped from jail three times. He’ll just kill you out there!

K: He won’t be able to do a thing for I have a towel! Never doubt the towel! (Ulfric and the Ladies look at Kenny as if he is insane, which he probably is. Kenny stands, holding a towel aloft in the hand without the ping pong paddle, and approaches Ahern after moving through the door.) Hello sir. I couldn’t help but notice that you are attacking this group of explorers on this fine morning. I was wondering if you could tell me why that was.

AA: (Ahern takes off the horse mask, proving himself to be a man as well as a horse and smiles evilly.) Why? Now there is a question I hear a lot. Normally I hear it as the people die though. If I may be frank with you -

K: I thought your name was Ahern. Ahern the Animal?

AA: Oh, I do hate that name. It sounds so savage. As for your question, I’ll answer it if you answer one of mine.

K: Alright.

AA: I do it because I enjoy it. When you have felt the thrill of the hunt perhaps you will understand but you will never have the chance to experience that in this life. Now, why are you out here by yourself? I smell four other humans in that house. Why are they not out here with you?

K: Oh, that’s because I have a towel and they don’t. Wait, why do you hate the name Animal if you love the thrill of the hunt?

AA: (After looking around, Ahern leans in all conspiratorially like) I’ll answer that question if you tell me why exactly that towel matters?

K: The towel is the most useful tool one can have while traveling. That’s why!

AA: Ahhhh. Well, you see, I hate the addition of animal as in truth I am not a were horse. I am a were pony!

(Ahern puts on the horse mask and attacks Kenny with the chicken and bites him on shoulder/neck. Kenny falls down, clutching his towel with one hand and waving around the paddle in the other hand. He stops ten seconds later. Ahern laughs while the Ladies and Ulfric say to each other What an idiot. Kenny’s body rolls down the hill and offstage as a result.)

(Luisa mutters Good Riddance quite audibly. Ten second pause as each side sees if the other does anything. Nothing happens.)

AA: If you surrender now, I will give you a quick death that so few get when I get my hooves on them.

L: Oh please, like we would listen to you.

C: You just killed two people in front of us!

A: You know, we could use this as a chance to get one of us close to him and kill him with one of these crayons we found.

U: You’re a genius Angelica but who is going to go?

L: I’ll go.

(Holding the red crayon tightly behind her, Luisa moves towards Ahern. Ahern nods to himself and raises the chicken.)

AA: You are a smart one to do such a thing. Much smarter than your companions though I think that’s a low bar to beat.

(Ahern starts to move forward when Kenny bursts onto stage once more, the towel wrapped around his chest.)

K: BEHOLD THE POWER OF A TOWEL!!

(Kenny charges Ahern, ping pong paddle in hand, only to take a blow from the chicken that was meant for Luisa. Kenny falls once more, this time dead. Everyone freezes then.)

P: The unidentified person was the second dead. Given that he died outside the house we can only surmise that he gave his life so that the others could attempt to reach safety.

L: Okay, that’s enough of that.

(Luisa stabs Ahern with the crayon. Ahern staggers backwards and collapses to one knee. The others have moved out of the house and move towards Ahern and Luisa. Ahern grabs the red crayon and pulls it away from Luisa as Dunstan enters the stage again.)

D: Hail Ahern my master. What do you wish for me to do?

AA: Deal with these humans quickly.

(Angelica hands whatever crayon she is holding to Luisa. Luisa and Corianna stand at the front, crayons at the ready with Ulfric right behind them wondering what the hell to do with a snap bracelet. Angelica is utterly calm as she waits to see what is happening. Dunstan moves right while Ahern moves left. Dunstan swings with the sword only for Corianna to parry it and then Ulfric strikes with the slap bracelet, stinging Dunstan on the wrist. Combat happens until ladies and Ulfric die. Ahern dies as well, slain by Luisa. Dunstan surveys the bodies and then walks off.)

P: (The detective surveys the scene now, a grimace on his face.) What a mess this is. Six people dead but at least that menace Ahern is dead as well. You can clear the bodies boys! I’m done here.

(Everyone can move off stage except the detective. He stands there tapping his chin or stroking his chin or doing whatever signifies thinking for the person.) Hmmmm. Maybe it is possible to make others into were creatures! I should check the graves!

(The detective walks around and then Kenny comes out and lies down. His towel is still around him.) What horror is this! Only the unidentified man still lies here! Five were horses active in Blackwater! No wonder we are having problems! (The detective picks up the towel and then turns around to find that all the rest are now behind him. Look of horror.)

D: Good work detective, finding out that we are all still alive. I really must applaud you. (The group applauds silently. Golf clap I guess.)

P: You monster! Doing the same deeds that the person who killed you did!

(The detective charges Dunstan and his lackeys while behind him Kenny gets up. Kenny looks at the fight about to break out, goes nope, and walks out of the grave. Wielding the sword, the detective manages to kill Ulfric and Corianna before collapsing. Dunstan looks at the fallen with sorrow.)

D: Fill in the holes that the detective dug.

(Kenny staggers back on to stage clutching his chest. Everyone stares at him.)

K: They’re everywhere man. Game over. Game over man. (Kenny falls dead once more.)

(Dunstan, Luisa, and Angelica all fall dead, shot from somewhere. Whoever plays Ahern walks on stage in a trenchcoat as Detective Miron and helps Detective Praxiteles to his feet.)

DM: Good job Detective Praxiteles! With your help we’ve caught the murders! Are you feeling okay?

P: Yes, yes. Just a small bite. I’ll get a doctor to check it out later. I need some rest now. This whole affair has been harrowing.

DM: Of course, of course! I’ll handle things from here. Go get some rest. You do look quite tired.

Pathfinder - Ralen Bek

Matters are well in hand at the moment though I feel a bit tired. We have thoroughly secured the city now with an excursion to the caves that lie below the city. We encountered a young bulette down there and found an elven cathedral down there. There was a protector of the cathedral, a construct of some sort that was destroyed by itself in an attempt to bodyslam the elf in our group. This was undoubtedly due to the rogue disabling portions of it before it activated.

We proceeded onward then, and came to two rooms, one that had numerous coffins in it, one of which held the founder of the city. He tasked with retrieving a cairn of some sort from the south. Apparently it has fallen into orc hands. The other room held a pond that responded to magic. Everything in it was dead when we entered but with the application of some magic everything burst to life and it became clear to us that the first people of this city were a bit odd as there was an octopus in the pond now. The dwarf threw in the elf in and in response I had Sprinkles throw in the dwarf.

The elf got out while the dwarf experienced some difficulty in doing the same no doubt due to his full plate armor. Well, that and the octopus attacking him. I threw my bead of force at the octopus and walked away to see where the third hallway went. The dwarf soon joined us, undoubtedly joining his very wet existence. We continued down the third hallway and came to another pond. As the last one had an octopus in it we skirted around the edge and came to an underground forest where more elves apparently lived.

They asked us to leave so we did and went to another room. It was a trap of some sort but with the assistance of the rogue we all escaped and as that was the last room we all went back to the surface. It is uncertain as to what we are going to do with the landshark but at least the city is safe for now.

Pathfinder - Ralen Bek

The day was started with a bit of debate amongst the group as we tried to determine where exactly to take our tribes for a capital. There were three choices that we knew of, an abandoned elven city, a human fortress that had been rebuilt three times due to the swamp, and a ship of some kind. It took some deciding but eventually we decided to go to the elven city.

The tribes set off and I chatted with the war minister, who apparently earned his position by being the only survivor of a platoon who killed something called a landshark. The dwarf tells me that they are also called bulette by some people. Clearly he deserves the position. On the way to the city we came across a detachment of the Imperial Army and increased our march as the elf and rogue determined that they were likely heading for the same city as we were.

We reached the city close to nightfall and easily got through the outer wall as it was full of holes that will have to be repaired. We determined that there were no easy ways through the inner wall and the rogue threw a grappling hook up. Surprisingly, he did not hit the wall but ended up hitting a halfling! The four of us lead the way to the top with another grappling hook and the elf healed up the halfling as he had a grappling hook in him. The halfling related to us the tale of his adventuring group and how something had killed the other three members of the group he had been in. Seeing no reason to delay we had the halfling lead us to where the attack had happened.

With some investigation of the site the cleric found some kind of elven undead in a house close by. The dwarf, rogue, and I followed the blood trail while the cleric went back with the halfling. It appeared that the blood trail lead to the central tower of the city. The rogue climbed up and dropped a rope for the dwarf to climb up. With my help the dwarf was able to get up as I extended the rope. A dirge became quite audible to us as we entered the tower and then the voice of the cleric reached us and so we decided to deal with the cleric first. The three of us descended and came into a throne room of some kind. The cleric was in the center of a horde of undead and with one burst of channeling energy there were only four undead left.

The four of us easily dealt with the elven undead left and the song became louder. The four undead that had been left started to slide together and assume a form of some bigger undead. At long last I summoned Sprinkles to aid me and had the other three go upstairs to deal with whoever was making the music while I dealt with this bigger undead. With Sprinkles at my side and the power of my abilities the undead was no match for me. I took Sprinkles up the tower then and reached the top. A trapdoor was pointed out to me that had a ladder of some kind going up to it which the rogue had accidentally broken and I took Sprinkles through it. We ended up in the face of some wizard who probably needed new pants then. The person playing the music appeared to be a spirit of some kind and when we told him of the undead we had killed he stop playing.

The wizard told us then of the undead still left in the city and as the spirit had left the dwarf tried to play some tune but utterly failed. The music he made was utterly terrible, so terrible in fact that even the undead hated it. All of the undead left in the city started to swarm towards the tower so offended were they. The four of us rested then, content in the knowledge that the undead would be there in the morning.

After some sleep we went down to the courtyard where the undead were attempting to get in with a very big undead. I summoned Sprinkles again and mounted him as the brute attempted to break down the door. The brute quickly broke down the door and the other three dealt with him and another undead with swords for arms while Sprinkles and I charged at an undead with no face. The faceless being used some sort of magic to take over Sprinkles but not I so it died easily with a few strikes. The fourth super undead was easily dealt with by Sprinkles and the rogue with a few more blows and then we enjoyed a bit of rest as we waited for the army detachment to show up. When they did I negotiated a treaty that gave us control of the city and the swamp land in general. Plans were discussed with expansion to the south and maybe the east.

There are many matters to consider now that we have a serious settlement established and apparently another five thousand goblins coming.

Freewriting - Session Four

The dragon sat calmly upon his mountain of treasure, idly tapping at a chain with one of his talons. His gaze was focused on the group of adventurers before him, a group that was trying to start to climb up his mountain of treasure. He rolled his eyes, annoyed once more that he was being awakened by some troublesome band of do gooders. Why did they never let him rest on top of his treasure. He would be content here for a few centuries or so. After that they would have something to worry about. But nooooo, they just kept coming.

The mighty dragon pondered hiring security and laughed, his great booming voice filling the hall. Udarn! Udarn! Deal with these pesky people and then go find me some sort of security beyond yourself. Traps perhaps. Or maybe undead that you can raise. I don’t really care so long as they don’t disturb me as well.

…

Udarn where are you? … Udarn? The dragon frowned, an impressive feat for such a being and an absolutely terrifying one as well. Uggghhh. Typical halfling. Never around when you need him. The dragon yawned as he surveyed the group more closely and then focused his full gaze upon one person in it. If Udarn wasn’t here to deal with this he would just recruit someone else to deal with it.

The dragon teleported then, certain in his observation that the group was staying in one spot and was not going to move. The leader of the group, a human warrior of some kind, suddenly found himself face to face with an enraged red dragon and the entire group suddenly found themselves to be wreathed in fire. An arrow struck him in the nose and then he responded with a short stoppage of time. Another teleport to above the group of explorers and a usage of his personal magic to create a ring of fire around them and then the stoppage of time ended.

The colossal dragon collapsed his wings then, dropping like a rock down onto the adventurers and squashing them all under his weight. Another teleport and he was back at the top of his mountain of gold. The red wyrm glanced at Udarn’s phylactery and snorted. When your body reforms halfling you will clean up the bodies and acquire some sort of security for me. I am going back to sleep now.

Good day.

Freewriting - Session Three

And here we are, drop point two. You’re up John. Enjoy the view.

John snorted as he pushed himself out of his chair. The view? This place will look the same as the last drop and the next drop and every other drop that we’ll be doing. The only exciting part of this trip will be reaching the end of this and getting away from this ship and you.

Ouch man. Can’t you be a little bit happy about helping millions of people stay in contact? A muffled grunt was the only response the pilot received. Alright then. Local area looks clear. Absolutely nothing within ten light years except buoy number one.

Just the way I like it. A minute passed. Depressurizing the cargo bay. Another minute passed. Unloading buoy number two.

Good luck. The pilot idly twirled a pen as sensors showed the progress that John was making. Unlike her companion she was enjoying herself out in the void, thrilled to bits over the very likely possibility that she was the first living to be here ever. It was possible that other life forms had been here at some point but she doubted that. This was the void and in the two centuries of interstellar travel with expansion to five other planets absolutely nothing had been seen that indicated intelligent life was out there.

Entering the cargo bay.

The pilot blinked, startled out of her thoughts by John’s return. Copy that. Starting up the engine. See anything interesting?

Just the same stars that shine everywhere else.

Pity. She waited in her chair, still twirling her pen, until John got back up to his chair. Alright, off to drop three now.